Banwell Bowling Club

2019 Triples Competition

Well we were fortunate with the weather. OK so we did have some brief showers but nothing to worry about

The semi finals were played in the morning and by lunch time the finalist were known. Phil Villis and his rink
versus Alan Vickery and his rink. The game started with neither side gaining ground, but Phil Villis and
his rink slowly started to pull away to establish a comfortable win.
So congrats to Phil, Mac & Leigh, and commiserations to Alan, Trevor and Martina

Left:

President Barry Taylor has gone to
a lot of trouble to don his best shorts
and 'T' shirt for the presentation ceremony

Left:

Sue and Rob Taylor
at Peace with the world

Right:

Bedlam behind the Banwell Bar

Banwell Bowls Club
Charity Day
Sunday 28th July 2019

Reminder - Bingo Night
Friday 21st June - 7.30pm

If you have not put your name on the sheet
in the clubhouse then do it NOW

A fun evening all round and more to
the point it raises funds for the club

So do it now folks

New Sprinkler System is
Installed for the green

Report from Paul Aldus

The current sprinklers for the irrigation system had become old.
One was not working completely and another required parts that could no longer be obtained.

The current remaining sprinklers although working are old and, we were advised,
 could potentially cause problems at any time, with parts no longer available in this country.

The committee ratified a major expenditure of replacing,
renewing and upgrading all five of the sprinklers which make up our irrigation system.

The work was undertaken and completed and we now have a complete,
state of the art, set of sprinklers which utilise the latest technological
and scientific developments to go with the new irrigation control panel,
irrigation pump and storage tank we purchased and fitted previously last season.

Barry Taylor and his input into the project

It was all going so well

The work to replace the sprinklers had been booked in for some considerable time,
with our President and Chief Greens manager, Barry Taylor being fully involved.
Graham Millard and  I had spoken with him earlier
and he confirmed he would be attending to assist with the irrigation fitters etc.

"Eh ooops Chaps you can rely on me to be there to supervise"

On the day at 1.00pm, 5 hours into the job,
Barry had not yet made an appearance,
so we began testing the newly fitted sprinklers.

Just then the President strolled around the corner.
He had brought forward his open pairs game from
later in the afternoon because of impending rain

“Eh up what are they doing ?
By eck there’s no need to be watering the
green after all the rain we’ve had."

He then proceded to have a small rant.

He was taken gently to one side and reminded of the long standing arrangements for the
installation of the sprinklers, and more to the point he was 5 hours late

To which came to classic reply:

" Flipping eck and Eeh by gum I completely forgot
- It's all Carol's fault you know"

Pam Fisher and Kevin Gibbons tie the knot

Congratulations to Banwell club members Pam Fisher and Kevin Gibbons
who were married at St.Mary's Church Christon on Friday 7th June

Beware of the Phantom Kleptomaniac

Just a little item of nonsense to report - a tale of uncontrollable fear and anxiety
caused by wildly unthinking behaviour.

This event took place after the knockout Cup game at West Backwell where the rink
skipped by Kim Burgess was last to leave the green.
They had just about finished changing when a cry of anguish went up.

"Where's my whites? My whites are missing"

Yes folks it was a distraught figure going by the name of Paul Aldus
He turned on Graham Sptittles and John Evans and demanded to know if they had his whites.

Searches of bags were carried out with feverish haste - still no whites

"Where is Burgess, Kim Burgess where is he?"

KIm was at the bar enjoying a drink with his opponent when
an overwrought Paul Aldus rushed in shouting

"Whites, Whites have you got my whites"
"Nothing to do with me my old son"
replied KIm looking over the top of his pint of Thatchers

Well to cut along story short, a search was conducted into Kim's bag
and what do you know - Yes two pairs of white's were found.

KIm put it down to pressure and despair, as his rink was the only one to lose !!

So beware of the losing rink kleptomaniacs lurking within the changing room

Jack Brutally Smashed
Mindless Vandalism ?
Or was it one Weetabix too much?

During the Umbrella competition last Monday an event took
place which shocked even the hardened bowler. Yes you have got it.
A defenceless jack was smashed into 3 pieces, it did not stand a chance.

Now without mentioning any names, save to say that he has only been
at the club 5 minutes, has made a habit of winning the whisky week in
and week out and is named after a large brewery in Stoke on Trent.

Will the offender receive his comeuppance, his just deserts or
even a 'Pound in the Pig' ?

Watch this space for more news

Weston and District
Over 60's Triples League
Latest Updates

Division 2

Obituary
Jimmy Laurent

Jimmy Passed away in the early hours
on Thursday 30th May 2019

Before Joining Banwell Bowling Club, Jimmy joined the "Kings Own Scottish Borderers"
and on his Demob, as he played the cornet, he decided to join the RAF and in 1968 became
a member of the RAF Far East Air Force Band in Changi Singapore.

This brought him into contact with President Barry Taylor and
a few of the other Banwell Bowling Club players who
at that time were also members of the RAF.

Jimmy Joined Banwell circa 1982 and was Captain in 1996 and 2017
He went on to win trophies in the following competitions:

• 1984 & 1986 Team member of the Winning Rinks Team
• 1986 Team Member of the winning Triples Team
  
• 1996 Novice Champion
• 1999 Two Wood Singles Champion
• 2010 Club Champion

Jimmy's health was failing over the last few years and he spent some time in hospital.
He passed away in the early hours of Thursday May 30th 2019

Funeral Arrangements to be notified later

.

Bingo Night
Friday 21st June
Commencing at 7.30pm

A Message from our Social Secretary - Trevor Garfield

Once again, Banwell Bowling Clubs Famous, No Notorious, Bingo Night
will take place in the clubhouse on Friday 21st June commencing at 7.30pm.

All are welcome - bring your family, friends and others to an evening of
fun, hilarity and frivolity

Bingo books will be on sale at £5 per person and the evening will include
food in the form of rolls, a raffle, and, of course the bar will be open.

Remember. It is your club club and your support is vital. So please
support this fun event.

Attach you name to the list on the notice board in the club house,
giving your name and how many will be in your party

So go to it people
Thanks
Trevor

Spectator Observations from the Over 60's match

Picture the scene, it is the start of the match and on rink 3 Mike Bass had delivered 2 woods.
There is a pause, a silence as, players stood around, as if frozen to the spot.

The silence is broken by the familiar voice of Phil Villis floating down the green

" Moik Moik Bass, you gotta nother wood to bowl"
"No I have had my two" replied MIke Bass Politely"
"No No Moik, you gotta bowl another wood" came the reply from Phil.
"But I only have two woods on the green" retorted Mike Bass
Phil was getting slightly agitated and advanced down the green waving his arms
"You gotta have another wood Moik, this is a triples match"

Clunk - The penny dropped
MIke Bass swiftly exited stage right into the changing room and emerged with his third wood
Crisis averted, Phil retreated back to the skips position muttering furiously to himself.

Meanwhile on rink 1 Chick Coffin was struggling with line and length
and having what could only be described as a cataclysmic game.
At the other end, skip Hilary was having a field day with much rolling of the eyes
and slapping of the forehead as he gave words of guidance to chick

"For C****s sake Chick get a grip "

But chick had the last laugh, Banwell were three down on this rink, last end, and in danger of losing.
Chick bowled his last wood, and bingo straight on the jack. Net Result Rink 1 won by three shots

Hilary left the rink uttering those immortal words:

"Goodness Gracious" or words to that effect
"The fellow bowls 54 woods and ends up with just one on the jack"

Pure entertainment - People in London pay hundreds of Pounds to go
to a theatre to watch a similar comedy.